This is kind of a long article, so would someone else be able to peruse it more carefully and tell me: Where do you spray it?

Directly on your ovaries? (Tricky.)

Perhaps in your hair? It’s a styling product AND a contraceptive!

Maybe you’re meant to mist it in a great cloud in the air and walk through it, suffusing your entire body with its protective properties.

Or, more likely, under the tongue:

“Hey, can I take a hit of your breath freshener?”

“Wait, that’s not…”

“Gaaaah, I’m infertile!”

“But your breath does smell minty fresh.”