As I am still commuting to Cambridge on a near-daily basis, I’ve had a lot of time to think. You can only return phone calls for so long on a car trip. Since there have been so many reports lately about the dangers of cell phone use while driving, I’ve been trying to cut down on my talking time anyway. I still read and respond to e-mails on my phone’s browser while driving, though; I haven’t seen any reports about that!

(By the way, have you noticed that the term “cell phone” is being edged out by the more Euro-correct “mobile phone” or “mobile”? I don’t approve, mostly because of the multiple pronunciation options. ‘mO-b&l (phonetics are Merriam-Webster’s) is the traditional American way to say it; ‘mO-bEl is a nice hillbilly variant; but -‘mO-bIl is gaining ground among the Euroscenti. I’m suspicious of words containing long vowels in every syllable, causing syllables to be emphasized equally. It’s just not the American way. We’re big schwa fans here in North America. It’s what distinguishes us from the other languages. Mobile, however, is vastly preferable to “hand phone,” a term I first heard in Indonesia that sounds vaguely dirty. On German TV, I once heard a commercial where this was shortened to “handy.” Please, let’s not go there.)

Where was I? Oh yes, too much time to think on the commute. During my travels in and around the construction zone that is Cambridge, I’ve observed that there are two local construction firms that happen to bear the same names as my family name and my husband’s. Now, I grew up with a somewhat uncommon surname, so I still get a little charge out of encountering my name in public–say, emblazoned on the side of a semi. And when I drive up behind two trucks lane-by-lane displaying my maiden and married names on their respective mud flaps, I have to admit it tickles me a little bit.

So, on one of my recent long, slow commutes, the sight of these trucks prompted a reverie: What if the Maiden Name and Married Name companies were warring firms, and their two scions, like Husband and I, fell in love, defying their families? It would be like an updated version of Romeo and Juliet. We could set it in the early days of the Central Artery project, when lucrative construction contracts were up for grabs: Big Dig Story! I can see the climactic balcony scene relocated to the Zakim Bridge. How romantic! Alas, the show, like the much-vaunted public works project, would probably run overlong and overbudget.

But, wait: what if Husband and I really were long-lost descendents of the Maiden Name and Married Name families? And what if we were the only descendants, and stood to inherit the vast pile that these companies are surely making on the Big Dig? That would be something. There’s probably a little organized crime involvement there, so there are some ethics issues, but nothing we couldn’t get around, I’m sure. After all, some day it would all be Aitch’s.

And they’d be telling that story for generations: “And that’s how that little Korean boy grew up to become the head of the newly combined Irish-Italian mafia.”

Only in America.