Port City is having yet another mayoral race. For the life of me, I can’t understand why we elect a mayor every two years, while a city like Chicago seems to have a Mayor for Life. At any rate, here is one of our front runners:

This moke, as I’ve mentioned before, is the city clerk who handled my complaint about the lack of punctuation on Aitch’s birth certificate with such aplomb. Yet, he seems to be a local favorite. I voiced my concerns to a group of friends during a political discussion over dinner last night.

“If he gets elected, Port City will become an apostrophe-free zone!” I implored.

“You know, Denise,” one of my friends said, “in the scheme of things that’s…”

“An extremely important and compelling issue? A good reason to campaign against him?”

“Not that big of a deal,” she finished. “Anyway, one of the other candidates has been circulating a handwritten newsletter. Have you seen this thing?” [Husband: “Was it mimeographed, too?”]

Hmm. A mayor who doesn’t know how to use a computer properly, or a mayor who can’t use the computer at all?

I don’t know. If Moak couldn’t handle a simple complaint about apostrophes without pissing me off, how’s he going to handle the really thorny issues, like the Million Dog March or a sex scandal?

I’ll bet Jogging Jesus would make a terrific mayor.