Julie of “A Little Pregnant” used the term “habitual aborter” in a post the other day (actually, she used the trendier– and rhyming! — truncation “hab-ab”). It’s been on my mind ever since. “Habitual Aborter.” Sounds tough, doesn’t it? Edgy.

So Julie’s post started swirling around in my head with Susan’s post, as they do, and I’m picturing the Habitual Aborters as a girls’ club from the fifties, with embroidered jackets, headed up by Rizzo from Grease.

The Habitual Aborters are a tough bunch. Like Rizzo’s group, the Pink Ladies, they crack both gum and wise. They smoke cigarettes, drink malt liquor from quart bottles, and talk trash about the other cliques at Infertility High:

The “Double Lines.” Unlike most high schools, the Double Lines — the girls who get pregnant easily — are the good-girls’ clique. They all have blonde ponytails and matching jackets (pink or blue). The Habitual Aborters give them a hard time, but they graduate quickly so they don’t have to put up with it for long.

The “Malformed Uteri.” This loosely-formed group also includes fallopian blowouts and other reproductive anomalies. This clique isn’t well-organized. They just smile shyly at one another across the playground, and occasionally meet up for study sessions (most are planning to major in pre-med). They do have cool t-shirts, though, courtesy of Susan.

The “Multiple IVFs.” In contrast to the Malformed Uteri, the Multiple IVFs are highly evolved– really, they’re more of a gang than a social club. They have initiation rites, gang colors (green and purple), and scars that mark them as members. They have their own jargon (”frozen cyle,” “follicle suppression,” etc.) that the rest of the girls don’t understand. The “MIVFs” have a thriving drug-trafficking sideline. These are tough chicas.

The “Hyperstims.” An offshoot of the Multiple IVFs, these ladies are the baddest of the bad. They have been to hell and back; they’re afraid of nothing. It’s a small gang, but they are fierce. Thanks to their ailment, gang members are also kind of…bulky. They tend to intimidate.

The “Secondary Infertiles.” The alumni group. They came for a reunion and never left.

The Unexplaineds. Not really a clique; it’s where you belong when you don’t belong anywhere. They’re currently seeking their own table in the lunchroom, but in the meantime they have to make do cadging seats at the other tables.

In my head (where so much interesting stuff happens), the Habitual Aborters are about to have a rumble with the Multiple IVFs. I think the Hab-Abs could kick butt in a fair fight, but the MIVFs sometimes break out those huge needles.