After this week’s monsoon, Port City has exploded in a riot of green. I’ve changed my blog theme to go green as well. The picture in the banner shows Aitch during his Tol party, a Korean tradition on a baby’s first birthday that is often celebrated by adoptive parents in the US. (The 100-day party is a bigger celebration in Korea, but most adoptive parents are not able to be with their children at the 100-day mark.)

During the Tol party, the baby is dressed in a colorful hanbok, and he is guided through a ceremony in which he chooses one of several symbolic objects set out on a table: dates, a sword, money, a spool of thread, and a ruler, among others. The objects he chooses are supposed to indicate his destiny.

Social workers are big on encouraging adoptive parents to celebrate their child’s culture. This is one of the post-placement visit questions: “Let’s see,” riffling through papers, “I’m supposed to ask, what have you been doing this month to integrate Korean culture into you baby’s life?” she said, seemingly unaware that it was a ridiculous goal for a six-month-old. “Uh, nothing?” I answered the first time, as the child’s life was pretty much a non-cultured round of drinking, sleeping, and elimination. The third time I was asked the question, though, I thought I’d better come up with a better answer, so I piped up: “We’re planning a Tol party for his first birthday!” Thus, the photo.

This Caucasian appropriation of Asian customs comes in for quite a bit of derision in some circles, as you can imagine. Earlier this year, right after Lunar New Year, I was horrified to read a message board on which a Chinese man expressed his disgust at seeing white parents and their Chinese daughters at a Chinese restaurant celebrating the holiday. His point was that white people should not adopt Asian children; other people, though, have expressed the point more subtly, criticizing adoptive parents for going in for surface symbols — ethnic costumes, food, and holidays — while ignoring their children’s racial identities.

As with so many parenting decisions, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Of course, I think it’s important to deal with my children’s racial and cultural identities, but I’m not sure that it always means a big showy display. On the other hand, it’s not going to hurt them to celebrate Tol or Lunar New Year, even inauthentically. I certainly don’t accept that it’s wrong for people to adopt transracially; it seems to imply that culture must be handed down pure from one generation to the next. Take that one step further and you’ve concluded that it’s wrong to create mixed-race or mixed-ethnicity children, and that’s just rot.

I mean, think about it. What’s your culture?

I was born in the US.

I grew up in an area that was largely settled by people with German ancestry.

Ethnically, I’m Italian and Greek.

Ethnically, my husband is Irish, my sons Korean, and my dog Austro-Hungarian.

My first name is French, my middle name Italian, my last name Irish.

I have lived in the US, Germany, Italy, and Tunisia.

I speak English, German, French, Tunisian Arabic, and some Italian.

I don’t speak any Greek, know few Greek people, can’t cook any Greek food, and don’t know where my Greek ancestors came from or even the correct spelling of their last name.

I read chiefly English literature.

I cook Italian, American, and Tunisian food.

I’ve always felt tremendously connected to Japanese and Indian culture, although I’ve never traveled to either country.

I was raised Catholic, but the religion for which I feel the most affinity is Judaism.

So, I realize that multiculturalism is dead (subscription required), or at least David Brooks is trying to make waves by saying it is, but for many people “multi-culti” is organic. It just happens.

What’s your culture?