This weekend, I attended my fourth four-year-old birthday party in as many weeks. I guess it only makes sense that the children in Aitch’s preschool class and playgroup, who are grouped by age, would have their birthdays clustered together. And given the monsoon weather we’ve enjoying, I haven’t really minded the weekly opportunity to feed and wear out the kids at a venue that I don’t have to clean up.

Unfortunately, Aitch is one of the younger kids in his class. By the time his birthday rolls around in August, not only will all of the good party venues have been used, multiple times, but parental fatigue will have set in. This leaves me limited options. The first is to come up with something even more fun and exciting for the kids (and the parents) to do. Pony rides! Pool party! Rock climbing! I am reluctant to do this, and not only because I’m cheap. I think the other parents are only going to resent such one-upmanship (I know I would). Worse, it seems like the beginning of a downward slide that will culminate in an eighth-grade graduation at the local yacht club to which the kids are chauffeured in stretch Hummers and at which they are entertained by a hip-hop artist famous enough to have shot someone and gotten away with it. My (acquired) Yankee sensibilities recoil in horror.

I could go the other way. My friend told me that her sister has a theory that birthday parties should be home-made affairs. The simplicity appeals to me, but do I really want a whole preschool class of four-year-olds running around my house? My house that has no backyard? We’ve done that, of course, for both Aitch’s and Minor’s Tol parties. But having expended a lot of effort there, I really wasn’t planning on having a big party for either of them for another couple of years.

I could limit the party to just family, or family and a few friends. Another guideline I’ve heard is one friend for each year of the kid’s life. That seems reasonable to me. Husband thinks that Aitch will be disappointed if he can’t have all his friends, like all the other kids. I say that a little disappointment will strengthen his character. Of course, four preschool friends will be accompanied by up to eight parents and four younger siblings, so if I’m having it at home I still have to feed a passel of folks.

What are the preschool party customs in your neck of the woods?