This will, I swear, be the last post about my running shoes.

Since the big race, I have tried breaking in my new shoes, but they continue to hurt my left foot. Yesterday, Road Runner e-mailed me to remind me of their Perfect Fit policy, so in a fit of optimism I called them to ask, would they really take back the super expensive slightly worn blue-tongued Gel Kayanos?

They would. How awesome is that? They will take back my stinky, slightly-worn running shoes just because I don’t like them. With customer service like that, I’m supposed to patronize the guy down the street who can’t even be arsed to order shoes in my size?

What’s more, the customer service rep listened to my tale of woe (”They don’t make the Asics 2110s any more!”) and said that she MIGHT have a secret stash of 2110 “Classics” in the back room.

I was very excited.

Unfortunately, she did not have my size. But she did have the men’s shoes, in a comparable size. Would I be willing to give them a try? I could always send them back, just like the last ones.

Sure, why not? And by the way, what colors do they come in?

“Oh, I only have white with blue stripes. Is that okay?”

Deep sigh.