Spring break! Whoooo-hooooooo!

What’s that?

It’s not Spring Break?

Then what the HELL am I doing in Fort Lauderdale?

It’s coming back to me now. I may be expected to give a speech or something. I sure hope I wrote one.

At any rate, it will be two nights of uninterrupted sleep, which will be welcome. The resort is nice…ish. The guest rooms are arranged in a bunch of outbuildings that look like cheap condos in a housing development, but the interior is pretty nice. It’s big, with a large marble bathroom that’s divided into three sub-rooms: Toilet, shower, and sink. The shower room features a voyeuristic glass wall between it and the toilet room, a Schrager-ish touch I’ve never quite understood. Believe me, when you’re the mother of small children the last thing you want is (more) people watching you shower. And, there is a bidet!

I would bet a hundred dollars right now that 70% of Americans don’t know what a bidet is for. Let’s say 75%. Go ahead, bet me. Stop what you’re doing right this minute and go out and ask four people the purpose of a bidet. If two or more people know the right answer, I’ll send you one hundred Georges.*

There is also a fancy electronic scale. So I was able to do something I’ve been contemplating for a long time.

I weighed myself.

I have been trying to lose weight for a long time, but frankly I haven’t been trying that hard. I really want to lose weight, but I really haven’t wanted to stop eating.

The issue isn’t fat, per se. Decades after puberty, I’m finally over the fact that I don’t conform to the emaciated patriarchal norm for weight and shape. And I ran ten miles at this weight; I’m not that out-of-shape. But I am concerned about how I feel. Lately, I have felt like utter crap: nauseated, over-full, lethargic, headachey. I am pretty sure that it is due to the vast amounts of bread, pasta, and ice cream I have been consuming.

I have blogged this once before, without results. I thought maybe by putting my number out there it would motivate me to do better this time.

We’ll see.

*Not really.