Husband (to Aitch): OK, you can have a cookie, but as soon as you’re done you have to go upstairs and get dressed for school.

Me (to Husband): Hey, Pavlov, try giving the reward AFTER you elicit the behavior.

Husband: You have your way, I have mine.

Let’s recap: My way. His way.

This is the man who told me, before we had kids, that he fully intended to adopt his brother’s chirp as a child-friendly remote control.

To his credit, the father of the Most Argumentative Five-Year-Old in the World has finally seen the light. One morning when I was at work, the boys drove him so insane with their before-school dilly-dallying that he instituted a new rule in my absence: No one is allowed downstairs until fully dressed. It’s taken a few days, but Aitch has incorporated it into his routine and has forgotten he ever used to lounge around downstairs in his pajamas. Minor is another story (but isn’t he always?)— we sometimes have to lock the baby gates on the stairs and stand over him until he gets dressed. But it’s a vast improvement, because when it’s time to go, everyone’s ready to walk out the door.

Captain von Trapp would be proud.